


i picture it, soft, and i ache

by nuclearmuffins



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Canon Dialogue, Flirting, Gen, Pining, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:06:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21764230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nuclearmuffins/pseuds/nuclearmuffins
Summary: Alistair and Aliena Surana, and some pre-relationship piney stuff.(A super quick canon dialogue expansion.)
Relationships: Alistair/Female Surana (Dragon Age)
Kudos: 19





	i picture it, soft, and i ache

She’s not really thinking when she says it. Normally she would have a better leash on her thoughts, keep her voice sealed and silent and all her stupidest impulses shoved in the back of her mind, right where she liked it. She had a reputation to uphold, after all. _Aliena Surana. Ever-practical, ever-sensible. High Lady of no-nonsense._

But the words end up slipping so easily out of her mouth she doesn’t even catch them. All she can really feel is the wind caught in her newly chin-length hair, cut by Alistair just a few days prior. She misses the massive length of hair she’d spent the better part of a decade growing, but now that it’s gone, it’s like she’s cut the last tethers binding her to the Circle free. She relishes the sensation of the breeze blowing over Lake Calenhad hitting her bare legs and feet, Rabbit softly dozing at her side as they took in this one brief moment of respite after driving the demon out of Connor. _You never would have felt something like this in the Circle._

Her third visit to the Fade had unexpectedly drained her, and she was glad for this tiny slice of peace, even if they had to get back to killing darkspawn right afterwards. Then her eyes, wholly against her will, flicked over to observe the way her fellow Warden’s hair shifted from brown to gold to bronze as the sunlight moved over it, and it had slipped out of her mouth before she’d even had a moment to figure out just what she was saying. “Has anyone ever told you how handsome you are?”

It takes a few moments for her to be conscious of what she just blurted out. _Maker’s breath, did I really just say that out loud?_

Alistair scratches his chin as he contemplates her question. “Not unless they were asking me for a favour. Well… there was that one time in Denerim, but those women were… not like you.” His lips quirk up in a sudden smirk, and he juts out his chin ever so slightly. “Why? Is this your way of telling me _you_ think I’m handsome?”

There’s a sudden flush in her cheeks as she stares fervently into her lap, away from his eyes and into the waters of the lake, her feet just barely skimming the surface. Beside her, Rabbit twitches, and she lay a palm over his coat, stilling him. _Why did you say that, how could you be so stupid, this is a Blight, you can’t-_

Her lips purse as she chases away the heat rising in her face and looks up, determined not to let any emotion show. “My lips are sealed.”

How coyly his next words come out doesn’t help lessen the feeling of her stomach twisting itself into knots. “Oh, I get it. I’ll get it out of you yet.” She feels a prickling in the back of her neck when he speaks, and though she knows the exact reason why, she doesn’t want to confront the reason quite yet. 

There’s a pause for a few moments for the awkward tension that _she_ created to crackle, to permeate the air between them. Even as she’s pointedly looking away, she can feel his eyes on her, staring at her in a way she didn’t wholly dislike. “So… is this the part where I get to say the same?”

The heat rises back up to her face in a rush. Nobody had ever said anything resembling those words before. She’d always been a little too bony to be pretty for Ferelden and its love of full-figured women, too severely featured. Her direct personality came complete with an awkwardly jutting chin, too-prominent nose, and the etchings of a frown permanently stuck on her face. Robin Amell had been the first person she had ever let touch her in that way; he was the only other person to see her, all of her, yet he’d never called her _pretty_ or anything of the sort. On some level, she was always just Ena - his best friend: dependable, level-headed, pragmatic Ena, and no matter how he threaded his fingers into her hair or brushed his lips against hers, she’d never really been _beautiful_ to him. Only the exception to his rule. 

It kills her a little inside, the way she hesitates on the words. She knows she has to say them, but she knew the little part of her that wished so _desperately_ for something to be different was trying its very best to hold them back. _Maybe if we weren’t Wardens on a likely-doomed quest. Maybe if he wasn’t so kind, or funny, or had his particular way of making me laugh. Maybe if everyone I’ve ever tried to love didn’t find a way to hurt me, in the end. I’d be saying anything else._ When she finally gets it out, it sounds like a flustered babble. “I’d prefer if you didn’t.” 

She can feel his eyes drawing away from her, even if she wished they could stay, _please stay_ . She’s not normally vain - no time to think about her appearance when there was magic to be learned - but just this once she wishes he would _look at her._ “Just idle conversation, huh? Not flirting at all? Alright then, have it your way,” she feels the lingering teasing on his words as he drew away from her. She hadn’t even realized he’d inched closer, and now the selfish part of her wanted him to stay.

He turned back to the lake, and Aliena was left wondering how in the world they were to return to being just two Grey Wardens when all of this was over. Not to mention his royal bastardy complicating everything further. _Nothing can happen. You’re fooling yourself,_ she reminded herself. _He’s probably going to be the king, and you’re just… well, you’re just a little elf girl, barely out of the tower. You fooled yourself into thinking you were someone worth noting in the Circle, but now you’re out, the world has taught you better..._

Even so, she let herself steal one last glance at him. The sunlight catching in his locks looked almost like a golden crown, she noted, and she didn’t even try to stop the wrinkle of a smile she let slip by her guard. 

_Looking at him won’t hurt, will it?_

**Author's Note:**

> Holy shit, I'm posting two things in a week, it's a miracle (except this is just a super short piece I wrote in like 30 minutes based on already existing game dialogue)
> 
> This is super redundant at this point but thank you thank you thank you to Toshi_Nama for helping me edit <3 And the rest of my lovely Discord friends for their encouragement as always in writing. 
> 
> Title from Strawberry Blond by Mitski.


End file.
